Do you want to start your journey to self-love? Are you looking for ways to overcome obstacles in your life? The journey has begun!
Ramaa Krishnan, author of “Yoga of Self-Love”
Ramaa Krishnan is an author who acquired a profoundly spiritual outlook on life and her place in the world while growing up in India. She decided to challenge her convictions and do further research to find out what it means to live a religious life outside of customs. Her first book, The Yoga of Self-Love: The Sacred Path to Wholeness and Healing via Inner-Child Work, details her path. Maya Stokley interviews Ramaa about her inspiration for the book, research, and personal experiences on her path of self-love!
Krishnan’s Process & Inspiration for The Yoga of Self-Love
Maya: What served as the primary source of inspiration for The Yoga of Self-Love?
Ramaa: Reading the Gita and understanding how deeply it applied to the human journey, sharing my insights and methods in my classes, and witnessing its positive impact on my community firsthand.
Maya: What was your process for writing The Yoga of Self-Love? How did you start? And how did you decide upon the structure?
Ramaa: I had been teaching this material for years, meaning to share it through a book, but running my studio and seeing clients one-on-one, I couldn’t find the time. Then, with all the space in my schedule during the pandemic, I decided to go ahead and write the book. I started it as a prescriptive work, but that’s not how I teach. So eventually, with the help of my excellent writing coach, I found my voice and wrote the book as a prescriptive memoir.
Structure
I initially structured it based on the timeline of events, but it was not flowing well. So then, with guidance from another excellent Developmental Coach, I re-structured it to build it thematically, giving myself permission to shuffle up the timeline.
Researching Studies & Within Herself for Self-Love
Maya: How did you conduct your study on The Yoga of Self-Love in order to incorporate ideas from Eastern philosophy, psychology, and inner child work? Did any particular book, instructor, or method impact the book’s treatment of self-awareness and healing?
Ramaa: My study took place years before I wrote the book. And it was quite organic, with me following the breadcrumbs: coming upon one resource, reading, applying it, and seeing how it helped me feel better and then allowing it to lead me to the next step on the journey. There were many teachers and teachings along my way to healing (most of whom I mention in the book), but I would say the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, coupled with Carl Jung’s wisdom and techniques, had the most significant impact on my journey.
Maya: What impact did your self-awareness journey have on the ideas and organization of this book?
Ramaa: Everything! Because these ideas and insights changed my emotional climate, I wanted to share them with others and eventually wrote my book. The Gita describes the evolution of our consciousness over a lifetime (or over several lifetimes). That helped to deepen my self-awareness and understand my patterns. As I wrote my book, I organized it to demonstrate this evolution to the reader.
The Impact of Kundalini Yoga On Krishnan
Maya: How has Kundalini yoga influenced your quest for self-awareness? How did the practices in the book affect your writing, and how might our readers benefit from these practices in their writing?
Ramaa: I started Kundalini Yoga as a practice from my tradition. At the time, it was simply a way of expressing devotion to the Goddess I was raised to worship. As I continued on the journey, I began to see that it was more than a dedication to a deity. That the Goddess lives in and as us, each one of us. I came to see that our inner child, just the way we are, is a unique expression of the Divine Feminine and that inner child work resurrects our divine identity. Understanding this helped me see my original self as an aspect of the Goddess I worshiped. I believe that the practices in my book will help readers find the sacred in themselves beyond all the wounds and the labels one internalizes along the way.
Connection with Self-Awareness to Writing Practice
Maya: You explain in Chapter 1 how you first encountered unforeseen difficulties and failures when attempting to grow your self-awareness studio. What did you learn about the connection between success on the outside and inner calm, and how did these work-related challenges help you on your own path to self-love and self-discovery? In addition, how did these practices help you with writing, publishing and marketing your book?
Ramaa: I think the most difficult times I faced revealed to me just how attached I was to success and how the only calm I ever knew came from enjoying such success. These work-related and personal challenges continued for an extended period, and it became clearer that I could wait all my life for the achievements that would assure me of my self-worth and lovability. Faced with the choice of continuing to love myself with an agenda or loving myself anyway, I finally picked unconditional self-love.
When it came to writing, publishing, and marketing my book, my inner work has helped me find my voice, seek help where needed, and allow myself to be guided, corrected, and edited without taking things personally. I am committed to pursuing talking about my book and putting my message out there without the fear of rejection, which used to overwhelm me and thus played a big part in how I showed up in the world.
Accepting Your Inner Child For Self-Love
Maya: You start imagining and accepting your inner child in Chapter 4. What was the biggest unexpected or life-changing realization you had as a result of consistently connecting with your “girl in red,” and how did this practice affect your daily life and creativity?
Ramaa: Working with my inner child brought about the life-changing realization that every single memory, every rebuke, every rejection, every hurt is, at some level, stored away in our body without our realizing it unless we address it as and when it happens. As a result of these stored memories, we are impacted by how we interact with others or interpret what happens to us. This has affected my day-to-day life because I take responsibility for keeping my inner emotional house clean and clearing my baggage before it gets too heavy. With this lightness has come greater creativity, and with the fear of rejection not being at the forefront of my choices, I can move forward more intentionally and playfully.
Advice to Readers About Aligning Obligation with Self-Love
Maya: In what ways would you advise others to reinterpret their own feeling of obligation to better align it with their own well-being and self-love from your description in Chapter 3?
Ramaa: Dharma or Right Action is at the core of all spiritual teachings. And while there is a universal component (like ‘tell no lies,’ ‘do no harm,’ etc.), there is also a deeply personal component, ours and ours alone—things that we are each meant to do, however humble that might be, during our time on earth. That latter part of Dharma is experienced as a knowing deep down in our bones. But we are often out of touch with it, believing that our job is to please people we love and that their happiness or approval is our responsibility. Moving away from that mindset, we can access our truth by spending time with ourselves in a deeply embodied way, feeling our feelings, honoring the preciousness of our lives, and permitting ourselves to uncover our authentic dharma.
The Concept of “House of Sticks”
Maya: In Chapter 6, you introduced the concept of “House of Sticks.” How can readers recognize and overcome their own “House of Sticks”—those obstacles that keep them from being entirely at peace with themselves?
Ramaa: The house of sticks refers to things that seem to protect us in the short run but eventually are fragile defenses against life and its uncertainties. As humans, we hold on to things, people, labels, and success, finding comfort and security in them while the “wolf” impermanence always lurks around. The best way to recognize our house of sticks is to notice our emotional reactions to different events in our daily lives. The greater the attachment, the greater the fear of losing it. While some are extremely difficult to let go of, we could start small, like releasing our need for perfection, approval, praise, etc. The more we let go of, the more at peace we are with our basic selves.
Innerbeing and Individuality
Maya: You talk about the idea of “interbeing” and how it influenced your conception of connectivity in Chapter 14. In what ways, especially during times of personal difficulty or development, has accepting interbeing changed your perspective on individuality and the boundaries between oneself and others? What impact did it have on your writing process, if any?
Ramaa: Accepting the reality of interbeing has tremendously impacted how I undergo and respond to my personal difficulties. First off, it has helped me relate to the experience itself, seeing my struggles as something that many others are going through as well, whether I know them or not, instead of believing that I am isolated in my pain. Further, knowing that I contribute to everyone else’s “boxes of pain” by what I put into the world, I constantly work on responding from an internal posture of compassion and equipoise. My contribution to the whole is mainly internal, whereas another’s may be external, but I believe that by staying in my authentic lane, I also lift everyone else.
I don’t think knowing about interbeing notably changed my writing process, except that I hoped to bring relief to others like me.
Krishnan’s Exercises & Reflections for The Yoga of Self-Love
Maya: The Yoga of Self-Love ends each chapter with reader exercises and reflections. How did you determine which techniques would best aid readers’ journeys of self-discovery and healing, and why did you structure the book with these interactive elements?
Ramaa: These are exercises I intuitively created for my own inner work, guided by my dream and my journaling about it. The two-year program with the Carl Jung Institute also helped me immensely in directing and understanding my inner work. Over time, as I experienced the relief it brought me, I shared it with others in my community. The exercises I’ve included in my book have already relieved many, which is why I structured the book with these. Simply thinking about one’s inner child is not enough. Unless intentional actions accompany our thoughts, the healing remains intellectual and does not reach the physical level.
Maya: Being vulnerable is necessary when writing a memoir this personal. How did you handle sharing your hardships and personal stories?
Ramaa: Who says I’ve handled it! The struggles between the human being and the teacher in me are ongoing, but I let the teacher win as a service to other seekers on the path.
Advice for Readers About The Message of Self-Love
Maya: After reading your book, what message or theme do you want readers to take away from your book?
Ramaa: While there are many takeaways, I would like to, at the very least, leave readers with the message that uncovering and healing our woundedness is our primary dharma and responsibility. As we heal ourselves, we can relate to others from a place of wisdom and compassion. Relationships improve and we contribute to the greater good. If hurt people hurt people, healthy people help others heal by their very presence.
Maya: Our readers are interested in writing and publishing books. Is there any parting advice you’d like to give aspiring nonfiction authors?
Ramaa: I think just the act of writing a book that is gnawing at you from within is good for your soul. It will help you to clarify your thoughts and claim yourself in ways you do not even think is possible. Further, it is a great legacy to leave behind and if you can invest your time and energy in sharing it with the world, your words will touch many lives in ways you may never know.
About Ramaa Krishnan
Ramaa Krishnan founded the Full Bloomed Lotus Center for Self-Awareness (www.fullbloomedlotus.com). Born and raised in India, she developed a deep spiritual perspective on life and her role in the world. Initially focused on studying and sharing meditation and mindfulness teachings, Ramaa encountered a challenging chapter in her life that led her to question her beliefs and to dig deeper to understand what it truly means to live a life of faith beyond traditional practices. She shares her journey in her first book, The Yoga of -Self-love: The Sacred Path to Wholeness and Healing through Inner-Child Work, available on Amazon.
